Two More Makes Ten

Many months back, we heard from two of our girls that our ninth and tenth grandbabies would soon be here to love. As you might imagine, this news not only brought joyful thoughts of our newest little ones but also launched plans for how to provide the very best postpartum care for our daughters. 

Postnatal care has long been a favored subject in which I’ve invested quite a bit of attention and research. Adding my five uniquely personal experiences and aiding with ten grandchild journeys through childbearing and healing lend me at least some honest-to-goodness knowledge on the subject. 

Gifts of Care

Long-established customs within a woman’s social group may very well determine the expectations of care she might receive. But there is little else more personal to a woman who has just grown and delivered another human life from her body. The undisputable needs of postpartum care are as individual as the snowflakes fallen this winter – each being lovely and right.

This post contains affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Last April, I wrote a post called How To Create A Post-Baby Mini-Retreat for your Daughter, Sister, or Friend. This retreat served one of my daughters quite beautifully after her fourth delivery in less than six years. The quiet calm of my home gave her some necessary respite before rejoining her waiting household of a husband, four young children, a dear MIL, and 3 large house dogs. (Need I say more?!)

Postpartum care has been different after each of her four children. Living states away with her first, I spent over three weeks in their home preparing before birth and giving aftercare. We enjoyed long walks, shopping, and sipping herbal teas. Then, postnatal care naturally unfolded into cooking, cleaning, hosting extended family guests, and long overnight watches so she could grab deep restful sleep between feedings.

Cultural Norms

Another daughter has now delivered two children. Both times she has desired very little help beyond those first few sleepless nights. For her, it is most helpful for me to aid her in getting set up successfully with consistent nursing and take just a couple night watches between feedings. She then – along with the care of her husband, trudges quietly forward on her own. 

Regardless of assurances that she isn’t asking for ‘too much,’ this daughter is highly sensitive to cultural norms, not wanting to impose. She has gratefully received several meals from family and friends, generous sibling care from their other grandma, and that’s that. So far, so good. For now, this particular bit of help seems to have served her well and gives her peace of mind.

Alternatives

Conversely, yet another daughter has done quite a bit of her own research on alternative postpartum care. It feels unfortunate to speak of it so. I profoundly appreciate the studies and personal testaments our daughter brought to my attention in these two books: 

• The First Forty Days | The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother by Heng Ou with Amely Greeven and Marisa Belger
• The Postnatal Depletion Cure by Oscar Serrallach

Both books seek to educate women of old traditions lost on overdriven, high paced lifestyles that give little consideration for the health and well being of new mothers. I was encouraged in my own values on the subject and given many fresh ideas!

As with any book, I would caution to be wary of ideologies that may not be God-honoring. Still, there is a wealth of information applicable to Christian women serving themselves and others. These logical, compassionate ways of promoting healing, when afforded by one’s community, are intensely thoughtful and courageous. 

The Element of Excellent Nutrition

Beyond the enlightening overall research, my favorite element used toward healing is excellent nutrition. All of my girls have hemorrhaged to some degree after giving birth. Thankfully each was medically managed in the moment, but exceptional, nutritious food has been a means of rebuilding their blood to healthy levels. 

Both books mentioned have specific recipes and nutritional advice. I don’t find that they repeat each other, but rather complement with unique experiences and focus.

I recommend both for a broad understanding. If you are an expectant mother desiring to build a like-minded support team for your postpartum care, I suggest reading and sharing these books as our daughter did.

Taking my own experiences, coupled with our daughters, I can confidently say that the very best postpartum care is one of meeting individual needs and personal preferences. No single plan will fit every mother’s tightly held values or unique circumstances. 

Women Serving Women

Women serving women within our families and communities is something beautiful to behold. We would do well to simply give new mothers the affirmation to speak up without imposing shame. Why not enable our girls to gather the support they need? Why not gift a bit of additional time and energy along with our Shared Meals and swaddling blankets? 

Understandably challenging and not always physically possible for some, these alternative care options may be just the thing necessary to assist our daughters, sisters, and friends out of the clutches of exhaustion, depression, and spent vitality. We aren’t speaking of presumption here, but a change of heart and expectation.

When we give new moms gifts of attending love from hearts filled with gratefulness – we honor both the mother and the Giver of life. When we serve from a heart affected by Christ, our daughters will be blessed with the very best postpartum care around!

What has been your experience with postpartum care? If you are a mother, do you feel your needs were well-tended? If you have been a postnatal caregiver, what are your favorite ways to serve?

I look forward to chatting with you soon!