Is better self-care on your mind for the New Year? Are you needing a break, but rest time never seems long enough?

Mention the term ‘self-care’ within the audible range of some Christian collectives, and it’s like the clouds suddenly roll back and a God-sized spotlight shines down from the heavenlies on the latest example of a self-declaring heathen. Talk about jumping out of one’s skin! The poor dear!

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Some time ago, a young, tender-spirited mom asked me, “Is self-care Biblical?” While I fought the urge to warily duck for cover—I promised her I’d research and pray about the question.

It’s been a lengthy process—too long with the distraction of grief and all—but God has shed Biblical and experiential light on the subject. Acknowledging from the start to the obvious misnomer, the term ‘self-care’ is not a Biblical term per se. Still, I think you’ll agree God has much to say about the matter. I hope it proves helpful to you.

The Self

The very word ‘self’ is a boundary no well-versed Christian will want to approach carelessly. Take, for example, just a few Scripture references such as Philippians 2:4, John 3:30, Galatians 2:20, Luke 9:23, and 2 Corinthians 5:15. It’s no wonder.

Recently, while reading through an Advent devotional, without searching for it specifically, I came across this paragraph regarding living life for ourselves.

That’s what we all do from the first moment of our lives. We all demand to be in the center of our world. We all tend to be too focused on what we want, on what we think we need, and on our feelings. We all want our own way, and we want people to stay out of our way. We all want to be sovereign over our lives and to write our own rules. We demand to be served, indulged, agreed with, accepted, and respected. In our self-centeredness, we convince ourselves that our wants are our needs, and when we do, we judge the love of God and others by their willingness to deliver them. When we are angry, it’s seldom because the people around us have broken God’s law; most often we are angry because people have broken the law of our happiness. Because we live for our happiness, happiness always eludes us—because every fulfilled desire is followed by yet another desire.

Come Let Us Adore Him—A Daily Advent Devotional, by Paul David Tripp | Published by Crossway 2017

[Lord, give us eyes to see, ears to hear, and the wisdom to understand our personal propensities—they are many. Give us the courage to bring our pride and self-worship to You, daily laying at your feet those things that do not reflect Your presence in our lives.]

Self-Care vs. ‘Self-Ministry’

But what about the all-too-relatable scenario where care for ourselves is genuinely necessary? Exhausted, spiritually depleted, emotionally conflicted—existing well outside of her best intentions—how does a God-fearing Christian woman overcome flaring realities that ravage her strength and threaten her soul? Doesn’t God care about these things? Of course, He does, friend! [Matthew 11:28, 1 Peter 5:7]

Let me rush in to clarify. Unique cultural and generational assumptions often get us into trouble when discussing sensitive topics. A definition of terms is essential! My assumed usage today of the term self-care is, better stated, self-ministry. Merriam-Webster defines the verb form of ministry as giving aid or service—both caring acts. Given this framework, self-care doesn’t sound quite so …self-absorbed, or shall I say, egomaniacal, as some might conclude. 

Discussing self-care isn’t automatically about selfishness. Like just about everything in life, Biblical examples of self-care, or rather, self-ministry—are all about the heart. If the heart is sincerely focused on Jesus, who can fault it? If the body longs for necessary rest and the soul thirsts for the water of the Word, who will brave them a denial? Jesus didn’t.

The Real Question

Heading off accusations that I’ve essentially avoided the ‘real question,’ let’s just go there. What about languishing appointments at the day spa, mani/pedis, lunch dates with the gals, ‘me time’ bath hours, retail therapy, cartons of Rocky Road, personal boundaries—you name it—that kind of self-care? Well now. Depending on several factors, a few worms may be digging around that list, making things uncomfortable. But there you have it; what of these?

My questions are, what and Why?

Is your self-care replacing what God offers through himself? Is your self-care damaging to relationships or people God gave you to care for? Will your self-care ultimately harm you in some way? These are tragic examples of idolatry.

Do your hands and feet need some buff and polish to the glory of God and said appendage preservation? Does your body need a good long soaking followed by a scrub and moisture creme? With the clearest of conscience, I hope you’ll go for these as soon as possible! Neglected hygiene is not a symbol of superior spirituality—it is neglect.

Do you need fellowship, encouragement, rest, and uninterrupted time with God? Girl, there is no guilt in these things! Who can forget Jesus’ teaching to Mary and Martha? [Luke 10:38-42] The thing is, Scripture is packed with direct comments and general principles regarding God’s care for our needs and His nurturing of our souls. Not only are we free in Christ, but He expects us to take care of ourselves, the temple of the Holy Spirit. [1 Corinthians 6:19-20]

Complications

Oh, but aren’t we masters at complicating our walks with God?! Pharisitically inclined, it’s easy to find ourselves caught in a twist of Biblical teaching gone awry. Often still (not only in ancient Bible times), Christian traditions impose religious pieties on congregants—using God’s name but missing the heart of God. Disturbingly, these traditions likely began with an intent to please God, but they slide off, filling us with pride in ourselves, lending false hope by a performance well done.

Just about the time we realize honest self-care isn’t all bad, and in fact, much of it is quite right and necessary, off we go on some other tangent, binding our consciences and imposing error on those around us to do the same. Still, paying close attention to context and God’s heart toward us, I believe we can safely build a Biblical platform for discussion about self-care.

Biblical Examples Of Self-Care

God loves us. He made us. Jesus came to earth and lived a fully human life—He knows our needs. God’s Word gives us many beautiful examples of caring for our body, mind, emotions, and spirit. We don’t need to pretend genuine needs don’t exist or neglect them. In truth, quite the opposite.

Intentionally avoiding an exhaustive discussion, consider these examples as a framework of how God directs us to care for ourselves.

You Are Not Your Own

• 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 | You are not your own.

God reminds us repeatedly, ‘I am the Lord.’ Here, we are reminded that we were bought for a price; we are not our own. God has the first and final say over our lives—because He is God. It would seem this fact is critical for us to acknowledge before making any decision about anything.

Above All, Glorify God

• 1 Corinthians 10:31 | Do all you do to the glory of God.
• Romans 12:1-2 | Be a living sacrifice

These texts give me pause. Before determining God-glorifying self-ministry versus self-focused selfishness, we must consider our primary purpose in life and who we are intended to be in Christ.

Cloth And Protect Yourself

• Ephesians 6:10-18 | Be strong in the Lord

When dressing ourselves, some go for fashion and beauty; for others, practical comfort is “king.” Here, we find God’s list of essential daily protective gear. What could be more self-ministering or God-honoring than to gear yourself up every day with truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, faith, salvation, and the Word of God? Protect yourself. Be strong in the Lord—take the time necessary to get completely dressed.

Alone Time With God

• Mark 1:35 | time alone with God.
• Luke 5:16 | Find time to withdraw and pray.
• 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 | Pray without ceasing.

Jesus’ life on earth mercifully modeled a God-dependent, God-worshipping lifestyle we can follow. You’ve likely heard it before, but if Jesus took alone time with God, how much more should we?

Rest

• Mark 6:31-32 | Take a break when needing rest.
• Psalm 127:2 | God gives His beloved sleep.
• Hebrews 4:9-10 | There remains a rest for the people of God.

God gave us examples of His rest in Genesis, which continued through Jesus’ life here on earth and throughout the Bible. God created us with the need for rest—body, mind, and spirit. We aren’t discussing slothfulness here but a genuine need for quiet rest. We wrestle with so much guilt in this area because the needs of our lives and loved ones often exceed our capacity to keep going. Take time to rest.

Nourish Your Body

• Matthew 15:32 | God cares for the hungry.
• Eph 5:29 | Nourish and cherish your body.
• 1 Timothy 4:4-5 | Receive with thanksgiving.

Seemingly self-explanatory, eating is one of our most basic needs. However, many of us make nourishment more complicated than it needs to be. God gave us food to sustain our life, health, and growth, as well as for our enjoyment. When we use or limit food outside of God’s purpose, things get weird and wrong quickly—often with regretful life-altering consequences.

Release Burdens To God

• Matthew 11:28-30 | All who are weary, come to God.
• 1 Peter 5:7 | Cast away your anxieties
• Psalm 28:7 | God is our strength and help.

We are not created to bear the burdens of this fallen world alone. Our physical, mental, and spiritual health depends on God’s help.

Renew Your Mind

• Rom 12:2 | Renew your mind.
• Philippians 4:5-9 | Think on these things
• Proverbs 17:22 | A joyful heart is good medicine.

Making our thoughts new again is a challenge every Christian faces daily throughout their lives. Thoughts and attitudes must be trained hard to keep a Biblical perspective. Our fallen nature is only too happy to veer off towards wrong, unGodly thinking. God aids the renewal of our minds with many specifics throughout Scripture, but we must value His Word to gain such wisdom.

Personal Hygiene

• 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 | Glorify God in your body and spirit.
• Matthew 23:25-28 | Clean the inside first.

It would be an interesting study to compare God’s standards for the Temple in the Old Testament to how we care for our bodies—the New Testament temple of the Holy Spirit. I find this an intriguing thought not only for cleanliness but also for adorning ourselves and that which we allow into our hearts and minds.

Fellowship

• Galatians 6:2 | Bear one another’s burdens
• 1 Thessalonians 5:11 | Encourage and build one another up.
• Hebrews 10:24 | Stir one another up.
• Ephesians 5:2 | Walk in love

Those quickly energized by social interaction may rejoice at fellowship being a God-directed self-ministry. Still, this need can be a challenging submission to God for those less socially inclined. Getting past the awkwardness, fellowship is an all-knowing provision of God intended to display His love towards us. Christian communities that prioritize bearing each other’s burdens, encouraging each other, and building each other up in the Lord are some of the most beautiful, life-sustaining experiences I’ve encountered.

Questions?

So, what if we find ourselves in Biblical error today? What if we’ve spent months, even years, neglecting the honor of God or if we’ve unconscientiously replaced Him with ‘stolen’ comforts?

Friends, that’s the amazing thing about grace! Talk to Jesus. Ask Him for forgiveness. He is our Advocate, Redeemer, Teacher, and Friend. He forgives and makes things right again. I hope you trust Him.

What about the seemingly impossible challenge for young moms attempting to balance genuine needs with the demanding, predictably unpredictable care of young children?

Some moms make early motherhood look effortless, while the rest of us resort to blush-worthy coping mechanisms no one wants to admit. The thing is, God knows our needs. If there is a delay in meeting them, ask God in faith and ask Him again. If He provides something different than you hoped for, remember His goodness and continue to wait on the Lord. [Psalm 27:13-14]

Further questions? Feel free to ask in the comments below, and let’s chat!

Lord bless you as you take God-honoring, self-ministering care of yourselves with freedom in Christ!