GrammieChats has been on an extended hiatus, completely unplanned yet necessary. There’s no easy way to talk about the unthinkable things of life without decidedly jumping in. As I take that leap, I hope you will come away from this testimony trusting all the more in the goodness of God.
Some of you may not have heard or connected that our family lost my dearly loved Stache in a sudden, tragic auto accident on December 20th, 2021, while he was traveling to work. Monday marked six weeks without him present in our daily lives. It’s been six weeks of a nightmare reality—six weeks of receiving each new day as it’s handed to us, one single day at a time because anything more is too wind knocking impossible to consider.
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Overwhelmed with Gratefulness
But it’s the equally true realities that bring me here to share with you today, the incredible, tangible experience of love and support through our God, family, and community. Although my grief is ever-present, still mainly in shock and disbelief, I am genuinely overwhelmed with gratefulness. My heart continues to brim and overflow at the kind thoughtfulness shown to my family and me these past weeks.
It’s an awe-inspiring experience to come to the realization that God has been actively present in your life, preparing for a far-off yet demanding eventuality intent to destroy you without His aid. The death of a dearest love will not only break your heart but has the power to crush your spirit—not to mention your trust in a loving, good God. To this point, I can gratefully say with God’s help, this tragedy has not destroyed me or my faith. On the contrary, I find God’s love emboldening me.
Truth Sustains
God in His holy goodness has faithfully fed me truth from His Word since I was a girl—even now, it sustains me. God’s mercy has faithfully nurtured my grasp of His love these past few years like never before. Increasingly, over the last six months, He’s been weeding out lingering doubt—teaching me how to embrace greater trust and joy in Him. God knew my faith in Him needed a healthier grasp to pull through the rest of my life without Stache. I can barely type the words.
Held Up High
A visual, part memory and part perception has formed in my head as the reality of our devasting loss unfolded. Flanked by two of our kids, holding me tight as I identified Stache—undoubtedly, with their hearts no less broken. We stumbled out just a few steps from the morgue, and suddenly, we were gathered into the loving arms of our closest community.
Right there in the hospital emergency room, in the middle of the latest viral surge, a small crowd of fearless, God-filled human hearts reached out to rescue and heal our brokenness with their love and care. Even as we moved outside in respect of others waiting, I’ve felt lifted and carried like a sports star, floating high in my teammates’ arms ever since. God knows our family needed amazing friends, and I thank Him for each and every one.
Extended family poured out their hard-earned wallets, and previous Christmas plans to travel as fast as possible to be by our side. Maybe everybody’s family loves incredibly like that (for your sake, I hope it is true!). Still, I’ve got to believe that the Giver of good gifts sure gave us an abundance of love in that regard.
Love Speaks
Stache was a dearly loved man. Besides having an amazingly supportive family, he had many friends. At the end of a man’s life, something is telling when floods of people show up to celebrate his life and mourn his loss. He was undoubtedly no Billy Graham or Martin Luther King, but I shouldn’t have been surprised to see how many came to bless our family.
These many weeks past, family and friends have continued to pour out gifts of all sorts. Cards, astonishingly thoughtful gifts, texts, phone calls, comments of love and kindness, a continued flood of prayers, over-the-top hospitality for out-of-town guests, and meals galore! Y’all, other than a couple of eggs and toast, I haven’t cooked a complete meal or baked a thing in over a month! I’ll not presume to publicly name names. However, knowing yourselves, I thank God for each of you. Thank you for your part in bringing life-sustaining care into our lives.
Enduring Love
Longtime readers of GrammieChats know that the relationship you saw lived out on social media was one our entire family, cast before God, labored hard to accomplish. It would be quite an understatement to say some years together weren’t as pretty as others, but there you have it, the long-lived truth of hard-fought-for love. I know without a doubt, I have Stache’s’ blessing to say it—the truth only serves to highlight our loves’ defining beauty, after all.
I’m delighted to tell you God gave Stache and me the sweetest 2021—we lived out dreams together, we overcame gritty trials, we loved deep and knowing. What could be a more extraordinary gift besides God himself?
Our family and community are suffering through an undeniably devastating loss—Stache was an incredible gift to our lives. But God, the Giver of every good and perfect gift, proves Himself all-knowing, compassionate, and good—even in this. Because of Jesus, who died and conquered death, we wait with hope until we’re together again.
Check out these posts for more heartfelt stories about The Stache and I.
Hugs from a teary eyed lifelong friend of the Hights.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! I appreciate your care.
Andy and I were saddened to hear of his passing. We got to know him some has he taught us how to shoot a bow and heave logs for the last and only Scottish games we were in. He was very patient and his faith was evident. Thank you for your beautiful testimony.
The Scottish Games–many memories and such fun times. So glad you were able to get to know Stache there a bit. He was one of a kind.
Wow- this is the most amazing and heartfelt tribute not only to your husband but to our Lord and Savior. I have not had the opportunity to meet you or your husband but by your words I imagine a wonderful spiritual man who is now resting in heaven!
PS. I am James’ aunt.
Hello Joni,
Thank you for your comments and care. Stache was indeed a wonderful man–an extreme servant-hearted giver who knew Jesus.
Beautifully expressed, Rene.
You are suffering well and honoring the Lord through this bitter circumstance.
To God be the glory.
Thank you, Deanna. I appreciate your encouragement and love.
Oh Renee – I am so very sorry to learn of Alan’s passing. He was a true class act. And larger than life in some ways. He introduced us to Trader Joe’s! He was kind but firm to an impetuous 16 yr old. And always genuine and true to his beliefs. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.
Leslee, you couldn’t have blessed me more. Thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. Much love to you and yours.
Your words are beautiful but you and your love formy brother through it all is even more beautiful. We do serve a good God in both good and bad times. God blessed us just like you said and still does!
Thank you for your encouragement, Alice. Love you!
Dearest Renee
Thank you for sharing your heart– the joys and sorrows. We cling to Jesus, His word, His promises and love. Without God, there is no hope! Praying for you all and this year of firsts with Alan… which is so very hard… but God is still good! Heaven has so many loved ones awaiting us. Keep leaning into Jesus!
Thank you, Peggy. I appreciate your care and prayers!
Dearest Renee,
What a beautiful tribute to Alan and how God’s love & faithfulness continues to be your Rock, Comfort, and Strength!
We have fond memories of Alan, you, and your growing family while you lived in CA. Alan was a fun loving, friendly, hardworking man who greatly loved God and his family!
Praying for you as you continue to lean on God for all your needs and are so blessed with the outpouring of support from loved ones and a caring community!
Love & Prayers!❤️🙏🏼
Thank you so much for commenting, Diana. I appreciate your prayers and care.
A beautiful and honoring tribute to your husband, Alan, and to Christ Jesus, your Savior. I love you dearly and continue to lift you and your whole family in prayer.
😘
Thank you, Cricket. I covet your prayers and love you!
To my sweet and much loved friend Your word are so beautiful in honor of your husband and your God. I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you as much as I wish but you know I have to be with my husband I have started to call so many times but wanted to give you time. I’m so thankfull
god has provided such great friends and family to be with you. I’m always here for you if you need me my heart aches for you but meeting in heaven will be your reward may god keep you in his arms Love Donna
Ahh, thank you, Donna. I love you too and really need to reach out sometime soon. Please don’t feel any pressure in regards to me. I’m thankful you are able to be with your husband and completely understand.
What beautiful words and tribute to Alan. We may have only been blessed with his friendship for a short time but that time definitely gave us everlasting memories. God bless you and your family.
Thank you so much for your kindness!
Dearest Renee, As the mother of Alan I have not been able to shed hardly any tears, but this morning as I have read and seen the photo’s that you have so wonderfully shared the tears have come in buckets. You capture so beautifully the life and love of our dear son. I will always remember when I first saw your picture that he propped up on our mantle and said this is my girl. I took a good look and new that you were going to be my daughter in more ways than one. I thank you Renee for the years of loving my son. For the hard times and for the great times. I thank you for loving me totally and for lifting me up to the Lord when I felt that I needed it. Thank you for raising such a beautiful family and letting me and dad be a little part of helping them in many different ways.
Thank you, Mom. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for your encouragement and support. Thank you for receiving me as your daughter so many years ago, your devoted affirmation, and your constant love. You know my love for you!
Lord providing very soon we’ll have some time together. I’m looking forward to a lovely cup of tea, big hugs, and more heart knitting as always –your girl, Renee’