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Astounding!

Talk about an accidental mother! Growing up, I can not remember a time that I actually loved children. I mean like, really LOVED children. That is a pretty astounding statement coming from someone who at the time, considered herself a born-again Christian. If there is one defining word to describe a genuine Christian, it really ought to be love. Right?!

To clarify, I did love my five siblings while I was a child. But they can each truthfully attest; I was a terribly self-absorbed sister back in the day. Besides my multiple siblings, there were usually daycare children in our home, -a whole lot of them!! In direct contrast to my immature disdain, my mother LOVED having children all around.

Self -focused Dreamer

At nearly nineteen years old, I found myself dreaming of a long-planned future being a Surgical Nurse, married to a rugged Prince Charming who loved and desired me. And perhaps some far off day, I’d consider becoming a mother to precisely one boy and one girl, -you know, for the experience of it all.

Expecting.

I had completed my first year of college in Pre Nursing, preparing to begin my second, when I met my eventual husband. As you might have already gathered, it did not take long for this disastrously undisciplined, self-focused girl, to find herself, -expecting. A mother caught in sin. A mother completely clueless about, just about everything. Nineteen, unmarried and carrying our first son; I was virtually unrecognizable as the woman I am today.

But God… pursues.

True to my life being a long series of “but God…” interventions, I am delighted to tell you God continued to pursue me. And He miraculously gave me the heart of a mother who LOVES her children! Mercifully, in more ways than I am prepared to describe, God trusted my husband and me with five amazing children to raise. I can tell you without hesitation, next to the Lord, our children have been my greatest joy.

Looking back, I am amazed at how God turned the many consequences of my sin and self-focus into the very tools he used to draw me to Himself. It was in fact, a mothering moment of perceived inadequacy that ultimately brought me entirely to my knees. God did not turn away from my personally created mess. He loved me first and saved me from myself. Nothing for me to be proud of, but everything to be grateful for!

Encountering Grace and Gratefulness

Although the story types out tidily here on the screen, there was no romance equal enough to cover the pain caused to ourselves, our families or ultimately the worst, to Jesus. I can not imagine knowing God as I do today without encountering the grace He offered me back then. And so I remember with humbled gratefulness towards God, the time when I became, -an accidental mother.

Has God ever used broken moments or sin consequences as a means to draw you into His will? Looking back, can you see God’s hand in the details of your life? These things are never painless, but have you been able to be encouraged by God’s faithfulness to you? I hope Psalm 139 will be a comfort as you consider these things.

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