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GrammieChats has been on an extended hiatus, completely unplanned yet necessary. There’s no easy way to talk about the unthinkable things of life without decidedly jumping in. As I take that leap, I hope you will come away from this testimony trusting all the more in the goodness of God.

Some of you may not have heard or connected that our family lost my dearly loved Stache in a sudden, tragic auto accident on December 20th, 2021, while he was traveling to work. Monday marked six weeks without him present in our daily lives. It’s been six weeks of a nightmare reality—six weeks of receiving each new day as it’s handed to us, one single day at a time because anything more is too wind knocking impossible to consider.

Hearse traveling past 7Hfarm
Staches’ final pass by our home at 7hFarm.

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Overwhelmed with Gratefulness

But it’s the equally true realities that bring me here to share with you today, the incredible, tangible experience of love and support through our God, family, and community. Although my grief is ever-present, still mainly in shock and disbelief, I am genuinely overwhelmed with gratefulness. My heart continues to brim and overflow at the kind thoughtfulness shown to my family and me these past weeks.

It’s an awe-inspiring experience to come to the realization that God has been actively present in your life, preparing for a far-off yet demanding eventuality intent to destroy you without His aid. The death of a dearest love will not only break your heart but has the power to crush your spirit—not to mention your trust in a loving, good God. To this point, I can gratefully say with God’s help, this tragedy has not destroyed me or my faith. On the contrary, I find God’s love emboldening me.

Sons and brothers carrying Stache's casket
Sons and Brothers

Truth Sustains

God in His holy goodness has faithfully fed me truth from His Word since I was a girl—even now, it sustains me. God’s mercy has faithfully nurtured my grasp of His love these past few years like never before. Increasingly, over the last six months, He’s been weeding out lingering doubt—teaching me how to embrace greater trust and joy in Him. God knew my faith in Him needed a healthier grasp to pull through the rest of my life without Stache. I can barely type the words.

Held Up High

A visual, part memory and part perception has formed in my head as the reality of our devasting loss unfolded. Flanked by two of our kids, holding me tight as I identified Stache—undoubtedly, with their hearts no less broken. We stumbled out just a few steps from the morgue, and suddenly, we were gathered into the loving arms of our closest community.

Right there in the hospital emergency room, in the middle of the latest viral surge, a small crowd of fearless, God-filled human hearts reached out to rescue and heal our brokenness with their love and care. Even as we moved outside in respect of others waiting, I’ve felt lifted and carried like a sports star, floating high in my teammates’ arms ever since. God knows our family needed amazing friends, and I thank Him for each and every one.

Extended family poured out their hard-earned wallets, and previous Christmas plans to travel as fast as possible to be by our side. Maybe everybody’s family loves incredibly like that (for your sake, I hope it is true!). Still, I’ve got to believe that the Giver of good gifts sure gave us an abundance of love in that regard.

Love Speaks

Stache was a dearly loved man. Besides having an amazingly supportive family, he had many friends. At the end of a man’s life, something is telling when floods of people show up to celebrate his life and mourn his loss. He was undoubtedly no Billy Graham or Martin Luther King, but I shouldn’t have been surprised to see how many came to bless our family.

Our son, handing me the folded flag.

These many weeks past, family and friends have continued to pour out gifts of all sorts. Cards, astonishingly thoughtful gifts, texts, phone calls, comments of love and kindness, a continued flood of prayers, over-the-top hospitality for out-of-town guests, and meals galore! Y’all, other than a couple of eggs and toast, I haven’t cooked a complete meal or baked a thing in over a month! I’ll not presume to publicly name names. However, knowing yourselves, I thank God for each of you. Thank you for your part in bringing life-sustaining care into our lives.

Enduring Love

Longtime readers of GrammieChats know that the relationship you saw lived out on social media was one our entire family, cast before God, labored hard to accomplish. It would be quite an understatement to say some years together weren’t as pretty as others, but there you have it, the long-lived truth of hard-fought-for love. I know without a doubt, I have Stache’s’ blessing to say it—the truth only serves to highlight our loves’ defining beauty, after all.

I’m delighted to tell you God gave Stache and me the sweetest 2021—we lived out dreams together, we overcame gritty trials, we loved deep and knowing. What could be a more extraordinary gift besides God himself?

Taps. Such an honor.

Our family and community are suffering through an undeniably devastating loss—Stache was an incredible gift to our lives. But God, the Giver of every good and perfect gift, proves Himself all-knowing, compassionate, and good—even in this. Because of Jesus, who died and conquered death, we wait with hope until we’re together again.

Check out these posts for more heartfelt stories about The Stache and I.